So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
where am i from again
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
