I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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