My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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