Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
