Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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