gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
