I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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