Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
