some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
i've created a new STD.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
COCAINE IS GR8
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
