North Korea, Best Korea!
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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