Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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