So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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