she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
