Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
