so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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