4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
