come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
