You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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