it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
