Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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