Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's like heaven, but drunker
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
