check it out our google latitudes are spooning
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
