do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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