I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
