just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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