so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
