Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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