dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
