The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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