I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
