Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
