And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
