awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
