we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
