I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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