Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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