Do you still have your period?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
