I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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