ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
