He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
