Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
