I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
