1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
