Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
