I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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