You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
