We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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