I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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