Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
