once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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