the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
