Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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