my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
