he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize