Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
